


A raining night

by Godessofhelheim (Mia)



Category: Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: M/M, Trifecta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-14
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-05 09:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404933
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mia/pseuds/Godessofhelheim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started on a raining night. It washed away his sorrow and cleaned his broken heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. That night

**Author's Note:**

> I've tried to delete a draft and ended deleting the entire fic, so I had to publish it entirely again. *sighs*

"I must go, someone is expecting me at home".

"Oh no, you can't leave me alone" he protested.

Several empty bottles were in front of him, some of them of a very expensive liquor.

"He had to choose him" grumbled "I could have make him happier, don't you think?"

Kirishima looked with compassion at his unexpected drinking buddy.

"It's enough" said for the umpteenth time that night. "It would be good to ask for a coffee or something to eat".

"Like hell. I want sake... Another bottle of sake"

"Take it easy or you will regret it in the morning, Yokozawa".

"I don't need... hic... your sermons..." His eyes welled with tears "You don't know what happened".

Kirishima just had dealt with him a few times and always in work-related things. He was _wild bear sales_ department, feared by many publishers, worthy rival of the chief editors of all departments. He had noticed his reserved and unsociable nature, except with the editor in chief of the Emerald team with whom he often saw smoke together.

"I think I get the idea", said taking another sip of sake. Yokozawa reminded him much to himself.

"No, you do not understand", answered collapsing on the table and kept lamenting his fate, "I should be at his side, I know him better than anyone..."

It was late. The rain did not seem willing to go, and if Hiyori would be concerned if he was late at home, but for some reason he couldn't left that broken person by himself. After paying the bill, although Yokozawa protested that he wanted to continue drinking, he took the remainder of the bottle of sake and followed its target.

"Come, we'll continue somewhere else", he forced him up and charged his weight over just because Yokozawa barely could stay awake and keep talking.

They went to the street, the rain falling so hard that it would be difficult to get a taxi, but he couldn't leave him there. After a few minutes of waiting, their salvation appeared. With some difficulty Kirishima managed to make both enter and sit on the back seat without soaking too much. Yokozawa pathetically rested on the glass of the door and began to sleep.

"Hey you, I'll carry you home" he shouted, shooking his parter.

"I do not want to go there" protested and tried to go back out passing over Kirishima, but with a quick movement he returned him to its place. Yokozawa growled but began to fell asleep again. Kirishima closed the door and gave some indications to the driver. They went to a hotel because he knew some of his mangaka had stayed there during the annual festival of Marukawa.

On the way he called home to speak with Hiyori.

"Hi honey, grandma is still there?"

"Hi papa. Yes, she is here. When are you coming? It is raining too mucho.

"I wanted to talk about that. I have some issues to fix and with this rain I think I will be impossible to get home tonight. Will you forgive me?"

"Do not worry, Dad. Work hard as usual".

He smiled. His little girl didn't say, but he knew that she always got a little sad in the nights when he wasn't home.

"Let me talk with your grandmother, please".

After apologizing and asking to look after her well, Kirishima hung and listened to his drunken companion. Muttering things under his breath while trying to keep his head up. Kirishima knew that Yokozawa was kind of proud, so he were going to tease him a little the next time they talked at Marukawa.

Kirishima felt pity of the poor guy. His bear-like attitude was only a disguise for his tender and pure heart. As an answer to his thoughts, a tear escaped from Yokozawa's eye and ran down his cheek.

His compassion grew. He had never mentioned the name of the person who had broken his heart, but it was obvious that it was Takano Masamune, was easy to deduce if you look closely and Kirishima were used to look at nearly everything around.

They reached to the hotel and with some difficulty Kirishima got Yokozawa out of the taxi, forcing him to walk with his arm around his neck all the time. He took him to the room and there and ordered him to undress.

"Of course not, I want the sake you took from the bar".

Kirishima growled ordering again to remove his clothes or he was going to catch a cold. As he refused to obey, they began to struggle and gradually managed to strip him of his jacket, tie and shirt.

Kirishima searched how to hang them, the clothes should be dry by the morning. He found a hook in the closet and hung there shirt and jacket. He didn't put it inside the closet yet because he hoped to get the pants too. Yokozawa was on the bed... at least half of him, his legs were on the ground, bent at odd angles.

"There, there sleepy boy. You can return to the arms of Morpheus when you've removed your wet pants". He looked at him, it was a very sweet image to see that stubborn man to sleep like a baby. He hated to wake him up, but he could catch a cold for the wet clothes and then not forgive him. Kirishima shook him one more time and Yokozawa reacted violently, trying to punch him, but the reaction of Kirishima was to pin him against the bed.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" He protested with drunk voice.

"In case you don't realize, I'm trying to prevent you to catch a cold.

"Let me die, who cares anyway" he replied, making his eyes fill with tears.

Damn, he was being so fucking cute by showing all his vulnerability. A tear escaped from the corner of his eye and Kirishima instinctively caught it with his thumb.

Perhaps he had drank a little too much, or maybe he just wanted to do it. Kirishima leaned to reach Yokozawa's lips and pressed his in a soft kiss. Yokozawa remained unresponsive for a few seconds, but then started moving his lips. In the heat of alcohol caresses were becoming intense. He had no idea of what was happening, but he wanted so bad and had no idea how much until he touched Yokozawa.

Yokozawa's hands were clumsy, but they were stripping him of his clothes, it seemed so wished. He served with the original task of stripping the bottom of his clothes, but he had other interests in doing it. Kirishima kissed him one more time, tangling his hands in his hair damp from the rain. Their crotches touched each other, separated only by the fabric of his underwear. Broke the kiss only to undress completely but the face of Yokozawa stopped him. His eyes were teary and lost in nowhere. His lips murmured an incomprehensible phrase, but after a while it became obvious: "I could have made him happy, he should have picked me, I know him better than anyone."

A compassionate smile appeared in Kirishima's face as he wiped the tears in Yokozawa's.

"You can look like a wild bear, but you're just a lost puppy" he whispered stroking his hair. He stand up and helped Yokozawa to get into the blankets. The salesman left to mourn and repeat his litany. Kirishima lay down beside him, smiling slightly sideways and stroking his hair until he fell asleep.

"Well that's cute" he thought. At that moment he understood that he could not leave him to his fate, he had to do something to help forget the pain that Yokozawa tried to drown in liquor. But they weren't friends, it would be difficult to find a way to do it.

Kirishima searched his phone and activated the camera. He probably wouldn't have other opportunity to see that cute side of Yokozawa and wanted to save it for eternity. He could worry later about how to make him feel better.


	2. Where your heart is...

All of a sudden, rain started to pour like a waterfall just when Yokozawa was in the middle of his rounds. It was a cold, piercing rain that got him wet before he could reach any shelter. Since there was no point in looking for it, he decided to keep walking in the rain. His apartment wasn't near, but it was nearer than Kirishima's. His clothes were divided at both places since he was almost living with them. That wasn't the original arrangement, but every night was more difficult to leave that place. Not just because of Hiyo's pleading or Kirishima's seductive ways, but because he was getting used to the routine of doing Hiyo's hair, cooking and other household, late work with Kirishima or just laying in the couch, forced to hold Kirishima's head on his legs every time he was exhausted in the end of a cycle. Sometimes, if he was on the mood, Yokozawa used to stroke Kirishima's hair 'till he fell asleep and then gently got up, replacing his legs with a few pillows, took a blanket and tucked him.

He finally got to his place, left the wet shoes and socks in the entrance and went to his room searching for a dry change of clothes. It was a persistent rain. That night would be impossible to go to Kirishima's place, so he called him.

"Hi darling! What a surprise you to call me".

"Who the hell are you calling 'darling', you moron?" A light blush showed in his cheeks.

"Oh, don't worry. Hiyo is at Yuki's, so I'm alone in my bedroom. Wanna join me?"

"Yeah, sounds fun" said in a plain tone, "but I'm going to pass this time. I was out when it started to rain and I was nearer to my place, so I'm here right now. I'm glad you are home already and safe from the rain. I'll see you tomorrow then"

"Is that so" Kirishima said, the sadness in his voice made his heart broke a little. "Well, Hiyo is going to miss you tonight. I already miss you every second you are apart"

"Wha... don't say embarrassing things like that" he protested but his heart skipped a beat.

"Are you going to miss me?"

Yokozawa hesitated to respond. 'Like hell', 'Fuck off' and some other phrases choked in his throath. Instead a shaky "yes" was spoken.

"Say it again, please"

"Hell no! I've said it already, too bad if you didn't hear me".

Kirishima laughed.

"You are always so cute".

"I'm not"

There was a little silence, it wasn't awkward nor silence, he was paying attention to Kirishima's breath at the other side of the line.

"You know... " Kirishima started, "this rain makes me remember that night. I guess you still don't remember too much of it, do you?"

Yokozawa blushed and felt glad that he wasn't near to see it.

"No, not much. Last thing I remember is you talking to the waiter to bring another bottle, that you could take responsability. Then my memories fade 'till the next morning"

"You were too adorable, you just didn't care to hide your tender heart. I guess that made me fall for you"

"Huh?" Yokozawa always thought that Kirishima fell in love with him gradually, just like himself.

"Why you sound so surprised? Well, I guess I never really said it. I fell in love with you that night, but it took me a time to realize my feelings".

"Wha..." Yokozawa's words stuck in his throath. A warm feeling invaded his chest by knowing he had loved him since the first moment, not just cared as a friend or a _pet-proyect_ , as he used to thought to the first days. Kirishima had loved him even when he was in love with someone else.

Kirishima chuckled.

"Geez, I guess I should have waited to say that, now I've missed your cute face"

"Go to hell" replied, but he was relieved that Kirishima broke the tension.

"So... you are going to miss me tonight?"

"I thought I have answered that already" he protested in low voice.

"But I wanna hear it again" he pouted.

Yokozawa sighed, but the warm feeling in his chest softened his pride a little.

"I'll miss you tonight" he murmured.

He could hear the soft laugh of Kirishima over the phone.

"You are adorable, Yokozawa"

"Or maybe I won't miss you at all, so fuck off"

Kirishima was looking at the fridge for some leftovers to eat that night. Hiyo was eating dinner with Yuki's family, so he was all by himself. The sound of the door opening and closing surprised him and went to see who it was.

In the entrance, Yokozawa was taking off his raincoat and rain boots, but even with this precautions the water managed to soak his clothes.

"What are you doing here?"

"Don't ask stupid things and bring me a towel" Kirishima did as he was said while Yokozawa took off another layer of wet clothes. While drying himself with the towel, he spoke with his face hidden by it. "I called Hiyo and she said you would be alone because she was invited to dine at Yuki's..." Kirishima walked forward and took the towel off his hands. "What the..."

He pressed a soft kiss against his lips. "You really are adorable".

"Fuck off..." he grumbled before another kiss started.


	3. The things you treasure

Yokozawa almost never got sick, but getting wet twice in a day and then being naked with Kirishima have caused him a terrible cold. Despite that, he decided to go to work.

"Are you okay, Yokozawa-san?" Henmi said after a while. No, he wasn't okay, his head ached and had a sore throat. He could ignore that but no the dizziness he was feeling since the last hour.

"I guess I caught a cold" said with a raspy voice. "I'll take some pills later".

"You should go home. We can handle today's meeting for you" he offered.

"It's not necessary. I'm fine, a cold have never stopped me before"

It was the production meeting for one of Emerald's books. He tried to yell at Takano but nothing came out of his mouth. He took a moment to clear his throat and continued with the meeting. He was feeling like shit, he should have listened to Henmi and at that moment he could be resting in his bed at Kirishima's apartment. He suppressed a smile when realized that he was expecting to there and not by himself.

Everything in the room started to twirl just two seconds before he heard Takano calling his name in a very anguished tone and all faded to black.

-o-

He woke up standing in a small bedroom, without any feeling of being sick. Outside the sun was shining but the curtains just let in a dim light. There was only a small bed, a desk and a bookshelf half full because most of the books were on the desk and floor. It wasn't the bedroom at his apartment, neither the guest room at Kirishima's place. He knew very well what place was that, and yet it was impossible. He was about to walk towards the bed when he noticed that it was occupied by a man. He tossed away his blanket so he could see his face... HIS face! It was himself, only younger. He had to be dreaming, it was just like watching a movie about his college time.

The door opened a few seconds later. He was shocked to see that young man, skinny an a little pale, just as he remembered. Younger Masamune entered with a cup of hot chicken soup, if that dream was true to his memoirs.

"Are you awake?"

"What time is it?" he grumbled.

"Almost noon"

He sat up suddenly but Masamune pushed him back down.

"Don't be stupid, you are sick and it's better if you keep sleeping"

Yokozawa tried to laugh, but started coughing instead. "Look... how... -cough- bossy you can be"

"I've had a good teacher. Here, drink this and go back to sleep"

He sat up and took the cup.

"Chicken soup?"

"Yeah"

"How did you make it?"

"It's just instant soup, but I'm not that useless, you know?"

He drank a sip and smiled.

"It tastes good"

"Great. I have homework to do, if you need something just make some noise and I will come".

He watched him leave and let his smile widening. It was a nice change that Masamune was the one who look after him, instead the opposite way.

He left the cup on the night table when he finished it and prepared to sleep again. He couldn't remember when was the last time he could rest like that, even with a cold. His parents were out so often that when he got sick he was used to take care of himself. Maybe that was the reason he tried to stay healthy most of the time, he didn't liked to be so vulnerable but specially hated being alone.

But somehow that Masamune was on the lookout was a little surprising. Not that he didn't believe that he had any affection, but he never expected him to prepare a soup, that forced him to stay in bed or that he looked after him silently from the other room.

It felt good.

To be cared by the person you love.

That was an awesome feeling.

One that he would treasure forever.

-o-

He felt something cold on his forehead, all the symptoms returned as a slap and he complained softly.

"Sorry Onii-chan, I didn't mean to wake you up" Hiyo was leaning over him with a humid towel into her hands.

"Where... What happened?"

"You fainted at work so they called dad to bring you home"

"What? Why him?" asked trying to hide his embarrassment.

He sat up leaning on his elbows. The door suddenly got open.

"I don't know but it was Takano who called me" Kirishima said in a plain voice. He wasn't looking at him and that was strange.

"Dad! You were supposed to be sleeping right now"

"I was going but then I heard your voice and wanted to see if everything was okay"

"Oh geez. Well, you take care of Onii-chan a little more and I'm going to make some soup for him to eat" Hiyo walked out the room and left a very silent Kirishima and a very confussed Yokozawa.

"What... what time is it?"

"Nearly 5 a.m."

Silence was awkward. Why the atmosphere was so dense? Maybe he were upset because he felt that his help was not welcome.

"T-thanks"

"Why are you thanking me?" Kirishima said walking towards him and gently pressing his chest to make him lie down. He wasn't looking him to the eyes.

"For helping me... for bringing me home. I don't know why Masamune called you, but I'm in debt with you"

"You don't owe me anything, don't you get it?" He was upset and Yokozawa had not a clue of why he was in that mood.

"What's with you?"

Kirishima finally looked him into the eyes. He wasn't angry at all, but... maybe confused.

"Do you..." Yokozawa waited a little to see if was going to finish his question, but he really seem troubled by it. Hiyo returned in that moment with a cup of chicken soup.

"Dad, go to sleep. I'll take care of Onii-chan for while" Hiyo ordered. Kirishima smiled and ruffled her hair.

"Alright mom" said nonchalantly and walked out the room.

"You should go to sleep too" Yokozawa said.

"No, I said that I was going to take care of you. Besides, Papa wouldn't forgive me if I leave you alone. He has been with you all night, I can make you company for a few hours to let him sleep"

He was blushing but he could blame the fever if Hiyo noticed. Of course Kirishima would do that, but his strange behavior that morning and the unfinished question left him worried.

"Hiyo, please tell me what happened yesterday"


	4. Treasonable words

Hiyo told him everything about what happened.

Takano had called Kirishima after Yokozawa fainted and together carried him to a cab, then Kirishima brought him home. Hiyo wasn't there when they arrived so she couldn't tell how Kirishima carried him. All options were embarrassing.

He didn't knew other doctor than Hiyo's pediatrician, so he called him. Yokozawa's blushing was getting worse.

"He went to buy you medicine and forced you to drink it to lower the fever" Yokozawa saw a small bottle on the night table.

"He stayed with you all night, you were talking in your dreams. Oh, you mentioned someone. Who is Masamune?"

"What?"

"You said: Thanks for taking care of me, Masamune. Who is he?"

Shit.

Did he really said something like that?

"H-he is my best friend" he answered "We were roommates at college. You see, I don't usually get sick and since then no one have looked after me, so I guess I remembered it in my dreams"

"Oh, is that so" she said smiling "I thought that... No, nevermind".

"What is it, Hiyo?"

"Well... I was just thinking that papa and I are the first ones of take care of you since then, aren't we?"

He smiled too.

"Yes, Hiyo, I have to thank you too"

She shook her head.

"No, there's no need to thank. I'm glad to help you since you help me a lot everyday. It's only natural when you care about someone, isn't?"

He finished his soup and Hiyo took the cup from his hands.

"Go back to sleep. I'll have to go to school, but dad would be awake in about an hour so you won't be alone. Just sleep"  
"Ok, I will do as you wish. Thank you Hiyori"

She left for a moment allowing him to have time to fall asleep again. He woke up a few hours later, the sun shining outside and his body feeling a lot better.

He stayed in bed, thinking about what Hiyo said. Was that the reason for the strange behavior of Kirishima? Well, it was a big deal to say the name of the man you used to love in front of the man you are dating, and worst if you were thanking him.

But it was just a memory, a part of his past.

It was hard enough to say hurtful things while being awake -always unintentionally- but saying them in his feverish dreams was too much.

He sat up and noticed that Kirishima have changed his clothes. A small smile appeared in his face for a moment, but disappeared with the memory of Kirishima's troubled face.

He could hear the soft sound of paper sheets being flipped, a sign that Kirishima was doing some work at home. It was an early date on the cycle, so it was fine.

Yokozawa walked silently to the living room, he still was a little dizzy. Kirishima was in the living room, lying on the couch with a stack of paper and a red pen in his hand, probably it was the latest work of Ijuuin-sensei.

"Kirishima-san..."

He stood up immediately.

"Idiot, you should be resting. Go back to bed"

"I will go later, we need to talk"

He walked to the couch and sat in front of Kirishima who was looking at him with concern.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

"Like crap, but I'm going to be okay when things clear up. Hiyori told me what happened yesterday, about me talking in my sleep"

"Oh" That sad look in Kirishima's face touched Yokozawa's heart "I'm sorry, I know I've said that you didn't have to forget those precious feelings, but... I can't help getting jealous. Maybe you would prefer him to look after you"

"I was dreaming, or rather, remembering last time I got this sick" Yokozawa said with a scolding tone. "I was in college and Masamune was my roommate. Yes, I was thankful with him for taking care of me because I hadn't expected him to do it".

"But... you were very upset when you found out that he called me".

"I was embarrassed, you idiot. No one at the office is supposed to know that we are that close. Why on earth did they know that they had to call you?"

Kirishima looked surprised, his eyes were glittering with excitement.

"So... you wanted me to take care of you?"

"Hm... sort of..." Kirishima smiled, he could read the relief in his face.

"How's that?"

He was using that tone, not the one that used when he was teasing him but the one he used when he was truly curious. When he did that, Yokozawa couldn't help to be completely honest.

"Well, just a moment before I passed out I was thinking that it could be good to be here because I knew that you and Hiyo would take care of me".

Kirishima smiled, leaning over to kiss him.

"Oi! Wait... don't..." Yokozawa said pushing him back.

"It's just a kiss and we are all alone" he protested.

"I know, but you are going to catch my cold and I don't want you to be sick"

Kirishima smiled widely and brushed Yokozawa's hair.

"You are so cute"

He blushed.

"I'm not"

"Your fever is back? Because your cheeks are all red" said in his teasing tone of voice.

"Fuck off and die" he said and tried to stand up, but Kirishima gripped his wrist and made him fall into his arms.

"I could die of happiness. You are adorable when you are being honest".

"Shut up" he growled but had to admit that he was feeling good with that hug. He felt sleepy one more time.

"Go to bed, now" ordered Kirishima.

"Yeah, yeah... I'm going"

-0-

Yokozawa went for a tea at the vending machines. He felt well, but there was still a few symptoms of the flu that refused to go. He decided to turn back to his office when saw Takano heading toward him.

"Feeling better, Yokozawa?"

"Ah yeah. All that sleep worked like a charm. Sorry for the inconvenience."

Takano smiled and leaded to the coffee vending machine. "You really are close to Kirishima now, don't you?"

He froze. He knew that it was a matter of time to have that talk with him, but he wasn't mentally prepared. It was useless to try to hide it since himself helped Kirishima to take him home... after he called him.

"Hey, how did you knew... I mean, why did you called him?"

Takano looked at him with puzzled eyes. Behind his back, Kirishima and Shizuku were coming just in the minute when Masamune gave his answer.

"What do you mean? The last thing you said before passing out was Kirishima-san, so I assumed that you wanted to call him".

Kirishima's shocked eyes and bright red blushing were just a little more obvious than his own expression, but both were speechless. Takano turned his back when he noticed that Yokozawa was looking behind him and saw Kirishima, then Yokozawa, the Kirishima... and smiled.

"Both of you should be resting" he said in a playful tone of voice while he head out the room "Seems that is a very contagious cold" .


	5. Reasonable questions

Great. Now Takano was aware of his relationship with Kirishima or something like that.

Well, it was a matter of time, but it was better to talk with him, so one night he declined Kirishima's invitation to drink because he finally got Takano to have some time with him.

"You sure are persistent" comented Takano when they were at the bar.

"Well, we haven't talked in a while. And I really needed to talk to you"

"Me too. We've been friends for so long and suddenly not having you to talk was... sad"

His old wound hurt a little, but it was a pain that was almost gone. It just that he missed his best friend too much, even over the love he felt.

"Yeah, but I needed time to let my feelings go and you could use that spare time with Onodera, doesn't?"

Takano laughed softly.

"There's always time for true friends... if I'm not at the end of the cycle"

"Good to know that".

They both drank a sip of their beer.

"So... what you wanted to talk with me?"

Yokozawa cleared his throath.

"It's about Kirishima-san and me...

Takano waited in silence. Yokozawa was blushing even more every second he struggled to find a way to say it.

"I figured it out already"

Of course he have.

"Yeah, I mean, I thought that you would but even so I wanted to tell you properly. Kirishima and I... not only are we closer now, we have a relationship... a romantic relationship".

Takano smiled.

"I'm glad. I heard the rumours that you and Kirishima were getting along and it made me feel a little jealous because I thought he would be your new best friend"

"Huh?" Takano getting jealous of being replaced as best friend?

"I felt selfish. I mean, you were there for me when I got all heartbroken and I wasn't able to be there, but he was... I felt jealous because of that, but I knew it was for the best. And it really was if you found the one you love and loves you back"

Yokozawa remained silent while he put some order to the recent information.

Takano was jealous of Kirishima because he thought he was taking his place as best friend but felt relieved when found out that he was taking his place as the one he loved.

Yokozawa laughed softly.

"Is true that he was married?"

"Yeah, his wife died years ago and left him with a kid. An adorable little girl named Hiyori".

"Adorable?" Takano laughed. "You have to like that girl a lot to talk like that".

"Well, it's true. It's not so hard to get along with a girl as sweet as Hiyo".

"Does she knows about you and her father?"

Yokozawa took a long sip of his beer.

"I think she is too young to understand... but maybe I'm only too afraid that she won't like it"

"Take it easy. Time will come"

Having Takano to cheer him up... he really missed that.

They drank in silence for a couple minutes.

"For a few years... You dated other people but you always broke up because you said you couldn't fell in love with them..." Takano spoke. It was true, even before he met Masamune, he wasn't able to fell in love with anyone. He always thought that it was because he only could love him. He knew that it was the reason why Masamune talked about it. "So, do you love him?" asked in a serious tone of voice. Yokozawa knew what he was implying. _'Do you REALLY love him? Are you really over me? Are you sure you wanna be in this relationship? Aren't you going to be hurt later?'_

Yokozawa smiled. Even if his wound still ached, there was a loud heartbeat that took all the doubts away because it was caused for the joy of knowing the exact answer for the first time in many, many years. Yet, he couldn't speak it out.

"You don't have to worry". Vague enough, revealing enough.

Takano smiled silently, after all he knew Yokozawa well enough to understand that he wasn't going to admit something like that.

"Maybe we could go out one night, and I mean the four of us... Like a double date"

Yokozawa almost choke.

"What the fuck are you saying? Who does such a tacky thing"

"Relax, but it would be nice, don't you think?"

He drank silently.

"Honestly, even if I accepted that you love Onodera, I still hold a grudge against that guy. Sorry, but it is how I feel"

"You still think that it's his fault"

"I think he is very responsible for that, but most of all... have he told you that he loves you?"

Takano protested silently.

"No, at least not with words, but... his actions speaks louder than his words".

Silence.

"I have to admit that I would love to hear it loud and clear from his lips. Keep this in mind, Yokozawa, becauseI know you're the type of person who hardly says what he really thinks or feels. There is no greater joy than to hear "I love you" from the person you love".


	6. Precious memories

_Hear "I love you" from the person you love. How long was where I thought it would never happen._

_I can still remember clearly the moment I realized I had fallen for him. I felt an indescribable panic, and it was not for the fact that we were both men, but because I knew that if my feelings were discovered would change all around us. At that time harbored no hope that I would be corresponded, I knew that his heart was not ready, still thinking of him._

_I remember well how devastated he was when he learned that the man known as the father had no blood relationship with it. The worst had not happened._

_It crumbled to know the truth about the absence of his first love and the betrayal that he had exposed. I panicked, I had seen him sad but quickly sank in a whirlpool of despair and I didn't know how to keep him afloat. For a while we didn't even talked, but that did not make us well either. He opened his door to me again, although it could be said that our relationship was not as warm as it always was while I was always screaming to force him to eat, to get out of bed before dark. I did my best, I couldn't leave him adrift when all that was left in the world was his best friend, because even Sorata was too scared to approach him._

_But then, that night I decided to go with him for a few drinks. That was all I could think to carry him home safely even though he was drunk. I drank some, not enough to lose consciousness, but enough to get rid of my inhibitions. I reluctantly took him home when he wasn't as drunk as previous nights. He hung around my neck when I tried to get him into bed and fell with him. I fell and could not get up until we made love._

_We were in bed, watching intently trying to understand what had happened. I can only say that for me was an event as happy as mortifying, because I didn't know if our friendship would be destroyed when he was sober in the morning. I loved him, I couldn't eliminate that feeling ever ... or so I thought._

_We were still friends... only that in private we were a little more than friends. I never told my true feelings that tortured me because I couldn't express them, but I felt liberated in those times when I could have him in my arms, when we used to connect so intimately that I forgot that it was not reciprocated._

_I thought I had hidden well for many years, even when I got the news that he had obtained the job for which I recommended in Marukawa. With the announcement also came a warning, everything will change for us, now we were colleagues and although we would always be good friends, we could not continue with the same intimacy._

_I always thought that was not the time, that if I stayed long enough to his side he would realize that it couldn't be happier next to anyone. It was a matter of waiting for the right time._

_But that moment never came. Instead, he appeared. I assumed he was a harmless poor bastard with whom he had become obsessed. But one afternoon while we went out to drink he confessed everything, told me that the sweet kouhai who he always spoke and that gloomy editor were the same person. I saw those feelings which I thought he had forgotten emerge once more. I was afraid of losing, of course, but mostly I felt very angry because he was still clinging to a past memory that given the evidence only end up destroying him again._

_I promised not to interfere, but my worst side surfaced every time I was around that guy. I tried to dift him away from Masamune, he didn't deserve it, not when it was his fault that he felt into such horrible state back then. No one knew the torture that time meant._

_And yet he still defended him and stayed chasing him, throwing my side to go after him. I couldn't stand it, I said hurtful things and even exaggerated. I knew we had never dated, we really never had a romantic relationship, but we had a past with enough weight to make him go away._

_Or so I thought._

_I did nothing but reveal my true feelings. I revealed the secret that for years I had tried to hide, but it grew fed by that little hope that I was the only next to Masamune._

_And the bomb exploded in my face. I could not get him in the eye, I wasn't even sure how could again speak at meetings._

_I was devastated, I had never loved anyone until he came and I was sure couldn't love anyone again. I would love to be his friend, but the pain of rejection prevented me from seeing his face without feeling worse. There is nothing so devastating as to feel the hope die._

_I wasn't thinking in getting drunk. I took refuge from the rain in that Izakaya, ordered something and the first drinks of sake offered a slight comfort to my soul. Just went for a drink to try to relax, but the effect was worse, alcohol amplified a thousand times the pain in my chest, tears threatening to spill over my eyes. In a crowded place I felt lonesome._

_Then I saw you coming, Kirishima Zen, the editor in chief of Japun. I was relieved to see a familiar face even if we rarely talked. It was me who called your attention and invited you to drink. And we did, I avoided talking up the subject with bringing all work related problems to surface, always hiding behind work. All I needed was to continue drinking to not think about anything, I just wanted not to have to think about anything ..._

_First love never lasts._

_I really thought that. Masamune was the first person I had loved and my heart was broken but I refused to let go of that feeling. It had lasted so many years that it was part of me, although its presence did nothing to stab my chest with every thought of him._

_We had a turbulent start a bit, I still feel annoyed when I remember the discussion that morning, although I admit that was the first time I realized how attractive you were, but I'll never acknowledge it._

_I don't know what time you started to invade my thoughts. I remember how bothersome it was every time you came to the end of the day blackmailing me with the photographs you had in your possession. You were a pain in the ass for weeks, making me change my schedule. I was intimidated that someone had found my weak points so easily, it was like you're baring my soul with every sentence you said. I believed we had sex and I was still surprised with that kiss. I didn't expect it, didn't want it and still I was paralyzed, but I figured you did it because I was a perfect plaything for you._

_How soon I found myself thinking that I had to hurry before you got to crawl, I had given up trying to resist you._

_It wasn't unpleasant hanging out with you, even if you enjoy making me angry and I get irritated easily, our talks weren't forced. But we never treated private issues, although I thought we had sex I never would have dared to address personal issues with you._

_But then you did something unexpected. You dragged me as many times before just to get hit in your private life, in your family._

_Hiyori introduced me to one side of you that did not imagine, one more sweet and dedicated. I didn't understand, how a man of family could get along with one so broken and angry like me._

_It was impossible not to take love to Hiyo. I could see in her a reflection of you and some features of someone else, but I also got identified with her and did nothing but what was natural in me, trying to help others._

_I was drawn to your family, I began to worry about your daughter, even struck up some friendships with your mother. I came home with Sorata and my apartment felt so empty._

_My attitude changed and that was not lost on anyone. It was strange, nor the people around me understand my change, but they were more cunning to deduce that it because of you but the could never imagine how deep you have worked in me._

_Sorata was my cat, but so was of Masamune, was part of my memories with him but became a vital link in what led me to approach you. We both felt lonely in spite of each other's company. Youth returned to hime, infected by the spirit of Hiyori. It really gave me a chance to be even more time close to you and really get to know you, get too accustomed to the routine of your family, where I was welcomed as a member even before I understood that my feelings for you had changed._

_Then I saw him. I hesitated, I wasn't quite ready and yet I stepped forward to try to recover the friendship I cared to much about. I wouldn't have done that if I hadn't felt a little strong with my feelings a bit calmer after you took the job of helping me to not think about them and calm the storm that filled my heart._

_I still was not as strong as I thought, I could talk to him but I felt uncomfortable. But that gave me the opportunity to hear his apology, I hear that he really valued as a friend. That gave me great pleasure, but also removed the wound. I wanted to be alone, but again you didn't let me._

_The excuse of a cigar distracted my thoughts just a second. I thought of you, not realizing I thought only of you and we could have remained at peace if you hadn't asked how I was and insisted on putting the nail on the head again and again, even though I tried to put my wounds out of reach._

_It wasn't you who I wanted to scream. I was angry with myself, angry at not being able to forget him, because hope had not been mortally wounded and the pain put me on the defensive. Yes, you could say I was a wounded bear._

_But then I realized what you'd been doing. When all this time I thought you were having fun at my expenses, you've actually been trying to protect me, to help me ... to eliminate the furrow between my eyebrows, as you said it._

_I was calming down or maybe I felt very nervous and anxious as to feel angry. I intended to escape before I said something that I would regret my entire life, but you came to bring the subject of my feelings for Takano, suggesting that it was not love but dependency. I refused to believe it first, but my feelings were as you were exposing. My desire to feel needed because otherwise my life would be in vain. Looking in that way, I was a wretch._

_Why I loved him? I never really thought about it. My mind began to form ideas as how he looked so needy, so vulnerable... You were still being right on the dependency issue and I despised me for it._

_I only vent my anger on you, and your sad smile was like a stab back. I wanted to apologize, I felt guilty of hurting your feelings, still my horrible personality did nothing but make me say hurtful words. I really didn't want to see you at the time, I felt too exposed, but also had desire to chase you, desire I completely ignored._

_As you left I felt like I had been rejected again, only this time worse because I never had the opportunity to offer my true feelings even on the more subtle way._

_You had to hate me, I was sure you did. I had you on my shoulders all the time since that night, except for that week you were dating girls of Marukawa, and in that long week I wasn't so anxious of not hearing from you like those two days. I couldn't blame you, I also would hate me for the way I talked to you. Still I was waiting for you to try to call me and it would indicate that there was a hope that I would be forgiven. Why you were so worried about me if you knew me so little? Why take you the hassle of trying to cheer me up even if the shot would have gone wrong?_

_With Masamune had that kind of relationship where I worried about his stuff and he of mine, but that had arisen after such a time of fellowship. But you, a night in a bar and had been enough to get you interested in what happened with me. And you did what I couldn't have done if I were in your shous, you helped me save me from the dark depression that I had seen in Masamune._

_But I still had that feeling of desolation in my chest, the one of having lost something very important and I clearly knew that it wasn't caused by the rejection of Masamune as the only person in my thoughts during the long hours of that day was none other than you._

_I just wanted to apologize, I was planning to act as my usual self, hiding the actual content of my heart for fear of hearing a refusal. I couldn't stand it again, it felt like this time would hurt more._

_You don't know the anguish I felt when your voice seemed to say that I wasn't forgiven, but you weren't angry but sorry. I had nothing to forgive and much to thank you. The words flowed from my mouth without really noticing where I was rounding up myself. I admitted to not think about him without seeing that I would have to admit that I thought of you. I thought of not saying, but perhaps the curious tone of your voice made me see a little hope or maybe I always had it. In you, I was thinking of you and no one but you and your feelings for me at the time, which were sure of contempt._

_It was so unlike me that embarrassment clouded my entire being, filling me with the desire to escape as far as I could even if it meant breaking my promise to Hiyori. I wanted to flee, but again you hold me against my will or maybe he just needed a sign to make me stay._

_Cute. I had never worried about being cute or not does not matter, even with my horrible bear-like personality was able to attract women, but I doubt any of them think that my temper and stubbornness were something nice. Never understand why you like my bear-like attitude._

_Even if your speech sounded petulant and I kept responding annoying, I can never forget the words you said. Still, I could not believe them at first hand, had to put the record straight, all my emotional baggage and my faults could be a big obstacle and it was always a constant concern, but you did nothing but reaffirm that was fine, that you like it... and then I did see you in the eye, which like your lips said that for the first time in my life I loved and was loved._

_Of course I had slept with Masamune, more than once, but he let me always be in control and I felt comfortable with it. Curiosity had been with me and we changed positions once, enough to decide I didn't like it that way._

_But that didn't matter with you, not a matter of pride and although I can never do it completely on your side. It was a new experience, besides being enjoyable physical way, so was on an emotional level. It was sealed, as your promise that you would make me happy._

_Even now I cannot understand what you love about me, my horrible way of being, a spirit so broken, but has not reached the day that I doubt your feelings._

_However, there was a time when I doubted my own. You told me that I should not forget how I loved him, that I could hold those feelings because they were beautiful, but I can't help feeling guilty for thinking about it and feel a little happy and a little desolate. I don't doubt what I feel for you, but I would rather not having a reason to feel guilty._

Kirishima had been watching with curiosity as Yokozawa remained silent for a long time. They were almost at their stop when he sighed and turned to see him looking confused.

"What happens?"

"You've been lost in your thoughts for quite a while, so it's me who ask what happens" he said with a smile on his face.

He blushed. He didn't realize how much time had been remembering, less something so embarrassing. "No... is nothing. I was just thinking about something Masamune said".

"Oh" he said shortly, just when the train stopped to let them out.


	7. Goodbye kiss

"What is it?" Yokozawa asked. Kirishima had been silent from the time they got off the train and he didn't like it. "What I did this time?"

"Huh?" Kirishima blushed slightly and looked away "I'm sorry, I didn't intend to worry you. It's just something I'm trying to figure out, I'll tell you later".

He frowned and walked on. Hiyo had Sorata since that morning because he would be out a few days and the child will be taking care of it. He was leaving on a 3 day trip the next

morning.

"To wish you a safe journey I prepared my special curry. Since we will not see each other until next week, I wanted to say goodbye as it should".

Yokozawa was going for 3 days and return on friday, but Hiyo was leaving on a trip with his class for the weekend, returning on Sunday afternoon.

"Thanks Hiyo, this is the first time someone made me a farewell dinner".

She smiled as her cheeks flushed.

"Now you have many! You are already a part of this family".

Yokozawa stared at him a bit surprised and then smiled.

"Thank you".

After a hearty dinner, routine tasks and send Hiyo to sleep, Yokozawa decided it was time to go.

"Thank you very much for the food" he said, taking his things. Kirishima got up and walked to the door, but before he changed the sandals he was cornered against the wall by his lover and kissed with his usual ability to leave him breathless and take control of their senses. Kirishima was who ended the kiss "Why... you..."

"Shutup " Kirishima leaned his head on the shoulder of Yokozawa, breathing a little hectic, "I have something to say before you go, but please listen carefully" Yokozawa loosened the pressure he was doing to try to ward off Kirishima as a sign that he was paying attention "I know I talk a lot about our past. I was married, and you had him, it will not change for any reason.

He knew it, they knew something of each others past and even though he wanted to know more, he couldn't begin to ask, his jealousy could be dangerous and that was a side of himself that he would not, he definitely could not show Kirishima.

"I told that you didn't have to forget it, partly because I know I would never be able to forget it, because such love is never forgotten, but I'm calm because I love you with the same intensity that I loved her so I think you need not worry. However, as I still think of her and never forget how much I loved, I can't ask you to stop thinking about him. Although every time you do I die of jealousy, I can't ask you to..."

"Oi, when I said I was thinking of him?"

"But you said..."

"I was thinking of something he said. Would you pay attention to what I say, you idiot?"

He was really upset, he had not imagined that after the last time they spoke of Masamune he would still feel jealous of him. Yokozawa was supposed to be the jealous one in the relationship, he and his insecurities and emotional baggage, but of course Kirishima was right, maintaining a friendship with whom was the object of your affection for so long was not to increase the security anyone.

"Is okay if you get jealous, is a sign of how much you care," he recited.

"Huh?" Kirishima separated to see him in the eye, curious about his sentence.

'It was what you said when I told you how jealous I was, remember?"

"Yes, but I didn't expect you will remember as well or that you will use it against me"

"Idiot, I'm trying to encourage you, not to attack you.

"Oh, I know, it is too cute to see you this sweet"

"Fuck off. I'm trying to get to a point and I can't if you keep interrupting me".

Kirishima smiled and stood in listening attitude but didn't allow him to separate his back from the wall.

"We don't talk much about our past, not that I don't want to know more about you, but I know me very well and prefer to avoid anything that makes me feel jealous...

He sighed. Sooner or later he would face these stories if really wanted their relationship to last, but still had to deal with his own demons before start listening those.

"Masamune... he knows me from before and he knows that the reason I always finished my past relationships was that I could never fall in love with the other person, so I guess he was worried about me and that this was another case like those...

"What did you say to him?"

"I said him to don't worry" said.

"And that was what you were thinking about? Are you trying to decide whether or not you love me?"

His sad touched his heart and made him feel uncomfortable.

"Stop drawing conclusions! Hell, I told you not assume you know me better than anyone, it will take long till you can brag about that.

Kirishima looked at him confused, waiting for clarification. Yokozawa exhaled in despair.

"I understand what you mean about remembering the love you have for your wife. I feel the same sometimes, but I want you to understand one thing. I will always care about Masamune, is an important person in my life, but he's not the most important person to me in the present, so stop thinking about those stu... ngh" His lips were pressed again. His senses left him, focusing only at the touch of his lips, the tongue that slipped into his mouth, hands that took his face hard. It was those times when he hated his treacherous body get so weak with the kisses of Kirishima.

He held his arms tightly, not so much to make him finish his kiss, but because his legs were beginning to waver.

Breathing agitated when the kiss over, looking at him with defiant eyes as he smiled with an air of confidence which assured him that his doubts were dispelled.

"Say it"

"What?"

"Say you love me.

"Like hell. I just did it"

"No, say it with those words, say "I love you". Like this: I love you. I love you, Yokozawa".

"Stop saying embarrassing things" said completely red.

«To listen I love you from the person you love...»

Yes, Takano had suggested it and was something shameful to accept, but he was very happy to hear that. He looked at him seriously, he would say, it was a shame that in his nearly 30 years never once have said those words and feel so blessed to have the opportunity to pronounce them.

"I...

The Cat meowing interrupted him, leading Yokozawa to a state of panic Kirishima soon understood.


	8. You don't need to sleep to dream

“Maybe Sorata wasn’t in Hiyo’s room as we thought” Kirishima said, but the sound of a door closing turned down his theory.  
“Shit” Yokozawa grunted. His lover gave him a kiss in the forehead and walked to Hiyo’s door. The salesman followed him but kept his distance. Kirishima knocked two times and then tried to open the door, but it was locked.  
“Hiyo...”  
“Go away!”  
“Hiyo, please, let’s talk”.  
“I don’t wanna”  
Kirishima sighed and walked to Yokozawa.  
“Shit” He was pale, almost in shock, a hand covered his face as he started to draw conclusions of what meaning the negative of Hiyo had. “She now hates me”.  
“She doesn’t hate you” Kirishima brushed his hair gently and leaned his forehead on Yokozawa’s head. “She’s just confused, even a little angry but she can’t hate you”  
“But what if she does. It’s like... I betrayed her”  
“Where is the betrayal in all this?”  
“She... must think I only cared for her because of you...”  
“So, that’s what always bothered you” Kirishima wrapped his arms around his shoulders, pressing him gently to his chest. “Don’t worry about that. She knows you really love her and even if she thinks you were calculating, eventually she has to understand why we talked with her before”  
“You mean I don’t wanted to talk to her before, you did”  
“Yeah, I wanted to but I gave up too easily, so it’s my fault too”.  
Yokozawa sighed. Letting Kirishima share his guilt was a little despicable, but somehow it felt right. Kirishima ended the hug with a soft kiss pressed against Yokozawa’s forehead.  
“Now, my love, it’s time for you to go. You have a train to catch early in the morning, so it’s better you sleep well”  
My love. If Yokozawa wouldn't have felt so uneasy, maybe could have responded with anger or even blush for being called with such a sappy name. Kirishima brushed a kiss in his lips and pushed him to the door.  
“I’ll call you every night so be sure to have your phone with you”  
“Right, just don’t call too late, I’ll sleep early”  
He left the house and headed to the station. While he was riding the train started to think of everything just happened and realized how close he had been to say  those words.  
“Who knows if I’ll ever have the courage again”.

\----o----

It was past eight at night when Kirishima called. Yokozawa was in his hotel room, feeling exhausted for walking all day and feeling still anxious because of what happened with Hiyo the last night.  
“Hello”  
“What a cold greeting. Is that how you answer your lover’s call?”  
“I could just ignore it, I’m too tired to be teased by you”  
“So, I guess it has been a tough day”  
“Sort of... I’ve been visiting bookstores all day, trying to convince those who doesn’t sell our titles to accept a few. As always, The✩Kan is having a good acceptance”.  
“Well, it’s a great work. Ijuuin-sensei is going to be happy”  
Yokozawa repressed a sigh. He was trying to compliment him an he only thought about his mangaka...  
“How’s the hotel?”  
“Well, the bed is comfy and the thermal bath was really relaxing...”  
“Oh, shut up” Kirishima protested leaving him a little confused, but soon he gave the required explanation. “You are only making me wanna be with you in this moment”  
He grunted feeling a little flushed.  
“The food wasn’t good, I guess I’m too used to homemade food now” said for changing the subject to something less embarrassing.  
“I think Hiyo will be happy to know that”  
Yokozawa remained silent. Will she be really happy of hearing anything from him? As an answer to his thoughts, a little voice talked to him.  
“Onii-chan?”  
“H-Hiyo! Ah... Hello”  
“Onii-chan, I’m sorry. I don’t hate you, sorry if I made you believe that, but I’m not even angry with you. I’m so sorry for not talking to you last night”  
The warm feeling in his chest grew filling his whole body. He never thought that he could be that relieved of hearing those words until he felt the tears willing to burst out his eyes.  
“I’m so sorry too, Hiyo” His voice trembled a little and he felt a just a little glad that he wasn’t talking to her father, because he would have teased him. “Your father meant to tell you a time ago, but I stopped him. It’s not that I didn’t want you to know, but... I’m sorry for lying to you for such a long time”  
“Oh, but you never lied to me. I knew you loved my dad and that he loved you, I thought you were the best friends in the world. It’s just that... nobody told me you can love each other like that, being more than just friends”.  
It was that obvious? How much did Kirishima told to her? He was laughing soundly at the other side of the phone, maybe imagining the puzzled look on his face right now.  
“And Papa told me that you didn’t want to tell me because of what I would think but... I’ve already told you that you are a part of this family, and it is because I know you truly care about me, not just because you want to be with my dad”.  
Yokozawa choked a few words while in the other side Hiyo protested because Kirishima ruffled her hair. As he was alone in that hotel room, he allowed himself to smile.  
“I do care about you, Hiyo. That’s why I wonder if you aren’t disappointed. Maybe you wish to have a new mom”.  
“Never” The firm tone of her voice was too alike to Kirishima’s. “I mean, I don’t know if my mom would’ve like it since I can’t ask her, so I never wished to have a new mom, but I guess having two dads is ok with me since I could ask Papa and he says he is ok”.  
“Wha...” Kirishima said something in a lecturing tone of voice.  
“Dad says that I should keep calling you Onii-chan and that you don’t need to panic about it.”  
“Tell him that... nah, forget it, I’ll talk to him later”  
She laughed.  
“My... my friends would be so jealous if they knew that you are my dad too. They are always asking me about you since the competition. They think you are the coolest”  
I was subtle, but he could hear Kirishima grunting.  
“It’s time to prepare to sleep” The actual parent told to his child. “Just because Onii-chan isn’t here, it doesn’t mean that you can sleep late”.  
“It’s better you listen your dad and... make sure to hug him, I think he is jealous” he whispered delighted with the opportunity for teasing him a little.  
She laughed. “You think? But he was the one to say that I’m your kid now... Onii-chan, please take care of me as you always do”  
He smiled and it reflexed in his voice.  
“Always, Hiyo”  
“Ok, ok” she said talking to his father. “I have to go, Papa want to talk with you. I think he misses you too much” she whispered the last part.  
“Take care of not letting him have coffee next to his manuscripts” She laughed a bit. “Good night, Hiyo”  
“Good night, onii-chan”  
“I’ll be with you in a moment” Kirishima said, then let a small sigh out of his mouth “I’ve told her that you are better suited to be our mom, but she insists that you are dad too” said with a pretended disappointment.  
“Papa!” Hiyo protested.  
“Kirishima-san...” Yokozawa said in a menacing tone. Kirishima gave a large sigh and the sound of a closing door was the sign that they were alone now.  
“You two are too alike. She could really be your child. Well... she’s now really your child too”.  
“In a honorific way, but yeah, I think so. It’s not like I wasn’t treating like that yet, since it seems that I have better parenting skills”.  
“You can’t compare a few months with ten years” He sounded truly upset.   
“Are you jealous because she thinks I’m the coolest?”  
“Her friends think that, not her”  
“Really? Maybe I should ask her”  
Kirishima grunted one more time before saying in a playful tone: “Well, I know I’m not as young and handsome as you. I’m proud that I’m the only one allowed to enjoy you inch by inch”  
“Wh...eh.. What the hell are you saying? And before too, was Hiyo in the room when you were saying those things?”  
“Chill out. She wouldn’t get it because she didn’t hear what you said. But truthfully you make me wish to be with you in that comfy bed or the relaxing bath you said before”  
He was now with the head over the pillow, as he was feeling sleepy and relaxed. He was so tired, but somehow he couldn’t just ask Kirishima to hang up, neither do it himself. Kirishima understood this tacit desire when Yokozawa yawned soundly.  
“If you wanna go sleep you must let me know”  
“I’m ok, I’m not that sleepy yet” Another yawn contradicted his words.  
“Don’t overdo it. You need to sleep now, because you won’t be sleeping too much when you’re back home”  
“Like hell” His voice was angry but quiet. “Maybe I should spend one night at my own place before meeting you again”  
“Don’t do that or I will make use of my spare key”  
“It’s just three days. We’ve been more time apart, why are you that anxious this time”  
“It’s because... because I do”  
“That’s not an answer” Yokozawa yawned again.  
“You sound too cute when you’re sleepy. I’ve never seen you that way because you always insist in going to your room after we make love”.  
“Who the hell is cute?” He was almost babbling now. “And you know is because of Hiyo”  
“Yeah, I know”. A soft breath was the only sound he got “Yokozawa?”  
The cell phone slide from Yokozawa’s hand as he fell asleep.  
“Goodnight, my love. Hurry up and come back. I’m tired of sleeping alone.” Kirishima whispered and then hung up.


	9. Something to think about

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains explicit sex.

The sound of the shower warned him.  Who the hell takes a bath at this hour?  He opened his eyes and looked around the room, even in the gloom. It was not the hotel room where he had spent the last days, nor their department or the guest room in the house of Kirishima. Where was him? He was asleep on his stomach, which he didn’t used to do except when...   
He opened his eyes fully and rose a bit with the help of his hands. He turned to the other side of the room where the window lit by moments. It was not the shower but a heavy rain what woke him. The roar of a thunder led him into the question of where he was until he felt a slight movement to his side. Kirishima was asleep, dreaming perhaps because he grunted a little and dropped on the bed the arm that until then rested on his chest.  
He was in the room of Kirishima-san, but at first he couldn’t remember clearly how he got there. He watched the face of Kirishima, he never had seen him sleep because he always went to the guest room as soon managed to recover from the intimate moments in that place. Hiyo was not in the house and that could be a good reason to stay there, but that had no effect on other occasions. He began to recount the events of the past day.  
That evening he returned from his trip, and went to Marukawa to finish writing and delivering reports. Kirishima had an early out and was soon in the department despite others were there.  
“You owe me a few drinks” What for others sounded like a simple invitation of a friend was actually a demand from the editor to have the time, attention, body and heart of the salesman after several days of absence.  
“You'll have to wait till I finish this” he said without taking off the look of the screen. What he wanted less was to look at him.  
“All right, I can be very patient when I propose.”  
The remaining staff slowly left the office and soon Kirishima and Yokozawa were the only ones that remained in that place. Kirishima didn’t take his eyes off of him and he was aware of this but had to concentrate if he wanted to leave the area anytime soon.  
Yokozawa heard the chair moved, but the sudden embrace took him by surprise, as well the soft kiss on his ear. “I know I said I can be patient, but it's been too long away from you”.  
He pushed him and confronted him with angry face. “Fuck, Kirishima, don’t do those things here. What if someone sees us?”  
“There's nobody, it’s so quiet that you could hear the footsteps even of the most stealthy mouse”. He approached gently touching his lips and tempting him with a passionate kiss, but he managed to reject it and continue with his work.  
“If you really want to leave tonight, you better stay away until I end.”  
Kirishima sighed in exasperation. “Is there something that can do to help you? The sooner we get out of here the better.”  
Yokozawa exhaled annoyed, but really he was grateful for the offer. “Read the numbers for me. It shall faster this way.”  
With the help of Kirishima could cut an hour of work and get out at a convenient time to go eat something. During the dinner they drank sake, maybe a little more than usual, perhaps rather more than necessary but not enough to lose consciousness. It was getting late, the trains weren’t riding anymor but they weren’t so far from the apartment so they decided to walk.  
“It was a long week Kirishima said,' I think I rely too much on you”.  
“That's true, but I do not really annoying”.  
A distant thunder interrupted the conversation.  
“I'm not talking about things like taking care of Hiyo or cooking. I mean I depend on your proximity to relax. I can’t take the time we are away anymore.”  
“It was only three days” said half laughing “don’t be corny because that little time.”  
“Precisely because I so quickly missed you so much that I realized that I can’t live without you. Yokozawa, marry me.”  
Yokozawa stopped walking, his face was full of confusion.  
“You're drunk. Stop talking, or you will continue saying nonsense.”  
“I'm not drunk, maybe I drank a little over my limit, but I'm pretty sane. Yokozawa, I want you to marry me.”  
Before Yokozawa could object again, he continued with his speech.  
“Yes, I know we can’t have a ceremony or register as spouses, but we can do anything that involves a marriage. I will ask your hand to your parents, you can ask for it to mine, although you have the advantage because they already adore you for saving his granddaughter from a bad father like me. Then we’ll have a small private party, with those who rejoice with our union, and you will be moving into my house, we’ll share a bed and fight, you can send me to sleep on the couch and have sex for reconciliation. You will be present at all major events of Hiyo’s life, you’ll help me to scare her boyfriends and I'll cry in your shoulders when she gets married. We’ll grow old together, spoil our grandchildren and enjoy the last day of our lives. Marry me, Yokozawa Takafumi.  
Yokozawa started walking, leaving him behind for a few steps. He was too tired and drunk to start thinking about all that Kirishima said and also he still believed that they were only the words of a drunken man.  
“Yokozawa, answer me” demanded Kirishima.  
“No. We're both too drunk, is not a good time for such a proposal. I’ll think it if you can repeat it in the morning, after we are sober and have a good breakfast” He walked decided.  
“Do you really promise you’ll think about it? Because I will repeat it tomorrow and the day after that and every day until you give me an answer.”  
Yokozawa got angry, stopped walking and turned to face Kirishima.  
“Like hell! I told you I’ll think it over, you don’t have to be a damn stubborn asshole and repeat it every second, I know you're capable of doing that”.  
The blush on his face was adorable. Kirishima felt the sudden urge to kiss him and since there was no answer to his proposal, he couldn’t remain without satisfy this desire. There was nobody on the street, but still he looked for the nearest alley because he knew that Yokozawa wouldn’t forgive him if he dared to kiss him in public. He dragged his lover and cornered him against the wall and before he could protest because of the violence Kirishima kissed him with all his passion overflowing in every touch of his lips, his tongue, his hands. Yokozawa couldn’t manage to fully respond, the surprise, his alcohol level and the mesmerizing effect of the Kirishima kisses just had dominion over his own body.   
They separated panting, their minds clouded and desire pushing their common sense to faint. Yokozawa pushed him and started walking, his face flushed with the wrinkle of his brow and eyes well marked capable of killing Kirishima.  
“We better hurry, it will rain”, was all he managed to say. He didn’t want to admit it, never would, but he wanted to throw aside what little was left of his sanity and give up to pleasure, if he didn’t get away from Kirishima, he would probably end giving up in a public place, which caused him to feel angry for his own weakness. Kirishima was a close, wary of the apparent bad mood of Yokozawa.  
The elevator ride was too much, the small place shoot sinful thoughts, but both kept their distance until they were in the place where they could fully enjoy their company.   
As the apartment door was firmly closed, they started the frenetic dance to kiss while they were both getting rid of their clothes. Alcohol, hormones altered by the recent kiss and the awareness that they were alone in the place demolished all precautions they had been taken in recent months. The trail of clothes followed the hall to the bedroom, where the last clothes were almost torn.  
Both fell on the bed and the kiss broke. Panting because of the lack of air and of excitement that was evident in how their erections were pressed together. Kirishima began to rub against Yokozawa, who stifled a groan.  
“Don’t hold your voice, let me hear it”.  
“Like hell. Hiyo may not be here, but you still have neighbors”.  
But Kirishima didn’t contained, it was amazing how only with those movements had become so hot. He kissed his lover, letting his moans brush against the lips of Yokozawa that at a lower volume also left out the sounds of pleasure.  
“I can’t wait”, said separating just to reach the bedside table and remove the lubricant. Without hesitation proceeded to prepare Yokozawa, introducing the first finger with a quick press.  
Yokozawa tightened. “Damn it, Kirishima...”  
“Relax, I'll not hurt you” said and rushed to kiss his neck and toned chest. The muscles of his shoulders were strained by the fierce grip Yokozawa had of the mattress as Kirishima finger touched his sensitive spot. He was more relaxed and Kirishima wasted no time to introduce a second finger. A guttural sound came from the mouth of Yokozawa.  
“More, let me hear more of these sounds” incited the editor.  
“Go to hell” cried, but the skilled movements inside him soon made him yield to his instincts and rose hips to provide better access.  
The third finger made his intrusion. The line between pain and pleasure was so thin that moaning and groaning was not that different. “Shit, Yokozawa ... I can’t wait anymore” He withdrew his fingers and almost immediately replaced them with his cock. The gesture of surprise and pain showed in Yokozawa’s face.  
“Idiot... not so... fast. Don’t dare to move yet.”  
Kirishima paused only to gaze Yokozawa beneath him completely naked, his agitated breathing, eyes closed, mouth slightly open and bitter expression. He pulled back the hair that was beginning to stick on his forehead with sweat and Yokozawa opened his eyes, fixing them in his eyes.  
“I love you” whispered Kirishima approaching his face. “God, I never thought I would so love someone again. I love you so, Yokozawa”.  
He barely saw his surprised expression because again close his lips with a passionate kiss and started to move slowly in and out of Yokozawa. That kiss was like a competition for who could continue it despite the pleasure they felt provoked that her moans drown in his throat. Kirishima was the one who lost, separated when he could not contain himself and his voice filled the whole room with obscene sounds. Yokozawa bit his lip, embarrassed by the reaction of his partner.  
But he couldn’t contain himself when Kirishima pressed deeper and increased pressure on his prostate. His moans were a kind of echo with Kirishima’s, filling the room with a sensual atmosphere. The bed creaked too much and he began to fear that at any moment would fall  
apart. “F-fuck” cried when pleasure reached its peak and in a moment everything went white. He arched his back while the lower part muscles convulsed in spasms, boosting his seed outside and wrapped Kirishima’s cock who kept thrusting, but the pressure was too much and soon he reached the climax too.  
“Oh, hell ... Yokozawa”. He made one last thrust and spilled inside Yokozawa.  
They stayed like that, not moving, not separate. Breathing heavily, listening to the beat of their hearts pounding. Slowly, Kirishima began to leave Yokozawa’s inside and fell at his side. The salesman turned to give more space and laid on his stomach. He didn’t dare to see him in the face, now that was back in his senses he realized how embarrasing was that the whole situation, since the marriage proposal.  
About all that. He couldn’t be serious, right? They had to be the words of a drunken nostalgic, sure he wouln’t remember in the morning.  
He was so embarrassed that wouldn’t even wait to be fit to stand up and pick up his clothes and go to lock up in the guest room. The rain had begun to fall, so he didn’t consider going home. He got up, but the arm of Kirishima pushed him back again into the mattress and soon felt the weight of his torso on his back.,  
“Oi, what the...” Kirishima hugged him and whispered in his ear.  
“Stay. What I said before, I'm serious. I want you to live here, sleep in my bed. See you the last thing at night and first thing in the morning. Stay now at least”  
Yokozawa’s face flushed even more.  
“Let me go, Kirishima-san.”  
“I will not, I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you ... marry me.”  
Every ‘I love you’ Kirishima whispered to his ear made the level of embarrassment rise, but the last words were the straw that broke the camel.  
“Shut up! I'll stay if you stop talking nonsense.”  
Kirishima stopped talking, but began to kiss his ear, neck, and back. Yokozawa turned to push him away but then their eyes met and saw that Kirishima smiled in a way that had never seen. How could the promise of sleep a night by his side could make him so happy?  
The last thing he remembered was that they were back to kissing, not with the passion from before but with affection, with love. He had no memory of when he fell asleep.  
The rain was still falling hard and continuous rays illuminated the room, allowing him to observe closely the sleep of Kirishima. He laid his head on the pillow without turning away.  
Marry me, Yokozawa.  His mind wouldn’t let him forget those words.  
'Damn, Kirishima”. 


	10. Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last one of the fic. I originally thought about writing of how they came out with their parents, but I rather start a new fic based on the new canon. This is the last chapter I wrote before second novel came out, and I think it gives it a closure. Hope you liked it.

The next morning was a bit uncomfortable. Both were suffering from a hangover, but of course that Yokozawa was the one who knew how to prepare a remedy, so while the two drank a large glass of water and a couple of painkillers, he made breakfast. Kirishima watched from the counter behind him. He had not mentioned anything about the proposal last night, and wouldn’t. Who knows what would remember Kirishima.  
“I really was drunk last night, really, isn’t it?”  
“Yes, it was indeed something new.”  
“It was to me also. I guess I was too nervous about what was going to ask, but I can not believe you have requested you to marry me.”  
Yokozawa almost failed to control the jolt of his body. So he do remember? Ah, but as he thought it couldn’t be serious.  
“Yes, well... Were drunk, I didn’t take it seriously”.  
“But I meant it”. Yokozawa stood for a second and Kirishima noticed. “Oh, but I knew very well that you would feel awkward, and I wasn’t going to propose you like that”  
Yokozawa had to force himself to go on with the breakfast, as if what Kirishima was saying hadn’t be important.  
“I just couldn’t stop thinking about what would be the next step in our relationship and the more I thought the more it seemed like wedding preparations”.  
Yokozawa’s blush had already reached his ears. It was easier when they were silly words, but knowing that he had give them so many thoughts was completely embarrassing.  
“What I was really going to propose yesterday was that we should talk with our parents. Since Hiyo is aware and didn’t opposed to our relationtship, they are the next in the list to be aware”.  
Yokozawa gulped, trying to find the right words to answer.  
“What you say? Want to formalize our relationship?”  
Yokozawa stopped what he was doing, but did not turn.  
“I’ll think about it” said at last “that's what I promised you that if you repeat in the morning I would think about it”.  
Kirishima let out a big sigh. “All right, I understand”.  
His sigh had sounded quite bitter and so Yokozawa had to keep talking. “It's not that I don’t want to formalize something with you, it's just that I do not get along well with my parents like you”.  
Clarification turned Kirishima back to spirits and he released the next proposal: “Ah, but then we could... we could tell my parents. They are who are more with us in the end.  
Yokozawa stiffened slightly “Is it ok? Won’t they be more concerned about Hiyo?”  
The sound of the chair told him that Kirishima stood up, but before he could turn to face him, his arms surrounded him from his back.  
“Relax, all will be well. What I said last night is true, my mother loves you and I will not mind what relationship you and I have. My father will be a bit more difficult, but I think you are an interesting subject, you have the ground as hard as me, you know your parents or my existence”.  
His heart was racing. Were they really having such a serious conversation at to those hours of the morning with a hangover and more? “T-that's not true. I do have told them about you, and about Hiyo. I have not left Sorata with them in months and they began to believe he was dead.   
“I see...” said hugging him more tightly. “What did you tell them about me?”  
“That you were a co-worker who had a daughter who was helping me look after Sorata in exchange for some math classes”.  
“Is that all?” whispered in his ear with hoarse voice.  
“Don’t do that!”  
“I promise I'll stop if you tell me what you told your parents about me“ said licking his neck from  
behind.  
“Ugh...” he shivered “I just told them that I cooked some nights for you, and I took care of Hiyo sometimes... because my mother was curious that not answering calls at my place”.  
“What do they think you're so friendly to me?  
“They said nothing” replied sharply, but Kirishima slid his hands under his shirt.  
“Really?”  
“Yes... Ah!” Kirishima pinched one of his nipples. “I tell you they didn’t say anything.”  
“I don’t believe you, sweetie” said tweaking now both nipples. “They should have commented anything about his son being so homely with a friend and her daughter. It is very rare...”  
“Because I was like that with Masamune” said tired of the harassment, but cursed the moment he realized what he told and Kirishima removed himself abruptly.  
“I see, so this is not new to them”.  
“From the way it's presented, no”.  
“Hmm...” He sat down again in place and Yokozawa continued preparing food, but the silence became uncomfortable and finally he had to break it.  
“Dammit, Kirishima! Masamune and I've known since college, I took him to my house during breaks, so my parents knew him. I never thought of us presenting as a couple even if that had happened! So let your damn jealousy and think with your head once! And keep the hell in mind that the person I love is you!”  
In the moment the words slipped from his lips his breath got caught in his throat and his face turned deep red. While he felt the desire to flee, Kirishima had reacted and gripped him in a tight hug.  
“Say it again”  
“Say what?”  
“You know...”  
“Stop being an idiot!”  
“Say it please” he begged.  
Understanding that it was useless to fight, bowed his head in resignation and stammered a  
bit.  
“T-the person I love... is you”.


End file.
